Montana isn't the only thing...

Puppies suck

Somebody p-l-e-a-s-e  tell me what a puppy is good for? And you tourists with pedigree pooches - heck, everyone knows the best dogs come from the Humane Society!  Puppies pee anywhere, chew everything, have razor-sharp teeth and require more attention than a teenage bride.  Speaking of which...

Teenagers suck

(Unless you're a teenager...)  The fact is that adult don't like teenagers.  They're irrational, immature, unreasonable, and don't know squat, but think they know everything.  Just because they can hack the Pentagon's mainframe and program a DVR, they believe they're bulletproof and will live forever.  They suck - and worse, they don't even know it.

Hot weather sucks

Where is it written that sweating, squinting, sunburns and mowing the lawn is pleasurable?  Hot sucks.  Give me a good old fashioned bury-your-car-in-snow Montana blizzard any day!  Seriously, have you ever visited Houston, Texas or New Orleans in the summer? Talk about 'Africa hot' cities...who chooses to live there?

Democrats suck

They're liars.  They're no different than Republicans.  They eat tofu and donate to PETA.

Republicans suck

They're liars.  They're no different than Democrats.  They eat anything including PETA supporters.

The IRS sucks

They make Democrats and Republicans look like monks.  They eat their dead - and tax ours.  Can someone tell me one good thing the IRS does that benefits anyone on the planet (outside the Beltway)?  Anything?

Getting old sucks

Think about it.  The life cycle is all backwards. You should start out dead; just get that right out of the way.

You wake up in a senior care facility and start feeling better every day.

You get kicked out of there for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party, you're "generally" promiscuous and you get ready for High School.

After High School, you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play or nap all day, you have no responsibilities.

You become a baby with no cares whatsoever. Then, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa treatments, room service on tap, larger living quarters everyday...and finish off as an orgasm!

It would have to be better that way ... because this getting old crap ... just sucks!

Your website sucks - and I know why!

Your website was supposed to be the salvation of your business...that's what your web designer told you. But here you are, no one sees your site and it gets 3 visitors per month.  Click to find out why your site sucks!

And remember

. . . if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
(It ain't just Montana, Bubba!)

Get the T-shirt... help keep tourists out of Montana
But... nothing sucks as bad as Montana!
So get your shirt and spread the word.